How To Cope & Deal When A Daughter Hurts Her Mother?

when a daughter hurts her mother

The bond between a mother and daughter is unparalleled. It’s a connection that starts with the first heartbeat and grows over whispered secrets and shared dreams. 

But what happens when that bond is tested? When misunderstandings lead to hurtful words, and actions create chasms of silence?

What To Do When A Daughter Hurts Her Mother?

A daughter’s hurtful actions or words can leave a mother questioning where things went wrong. The pain can be palpable, echoing in the quiet moments and the unsaid words. But amidst this emotional turmoil, there’s hope.

Understanding is the first step. Recognizing that every relationship has its ups and downs can offer some solace. Next, comes communication

It’s the bridge that can mend the widening gap. Open, honest conversations can unearth buried feelings and pave the way for healing.

Remember, every storm has a rainbow. With patience, love, and a dash of hope, the bond can be restored, stronger than before.

Ways A Daughter Can Hurt Her Mother

1. Disrespecting Them

Disrespect, whether overt or subtle, can leave a lasting impact. When a daughter openly challenges or belittles her mother’s beliefs, experiences, or decisions, it can create a rift. This isn’t just about heated arguments or confrontations. 

Sometimes, the most hurtful forms of disrespect are the quiet ones: dismissive gestures, sarcastic comments, or simply ignoring advice. 

These actions can erode a mother’s confidence, making her feel undervalued and overlooked. Over time, this can lead to a strained relationship, with both parties feeling distant and misunderstood.

2. Not Spending Enough Time With Them

The adage “quality over quantity” holds true, especially in relationships. For a mother, every moment shared with her daughter is a cherished memory. 

But when a daughter consistently prioritizes other commitments or relationships over spending time with her mother, it can lead to feelings of abandonment. 

Each missed opportunity to bond, whether it’s a simple coffee chat or a weekend outing, amplifies the feeling of being taken for granted. 

This absence can make mothers question their importance in their daughter’s life, leading to feelings of sadness and longing.

3. Ignoring Their Feelings

Emotions are the language of the soul. When a daughter disregards or minimizes her mother’s feelings, it can create an emotional barrier. 

It’s not just about failing to recognize sadness or worry; it’s about the lack of effort to understand and empathize. 

When a mother’s emotions are consistently brushed aside, she may feel isolated and unheard. This lack of emotional validation can lead to a sense of loneliness, even when surrounded by loved ones. 

Over time, this emotional distance can weaken the bond, making reconciliation more challenging.

4. Not Taking Her Advice Seriously

Throughout our lives, mothers serve as a guiding light, offering advice drawn from their wealth of experience. 

When a daughter consistently overlooks or dismisses this advice, it can feel like a rejection of her mother’s life lessons and wisdom. 

It’s not merely about agreeing with every suggestion but showing respect by genuinely considering her insights. 

Continuously sidelining her counsel can make a mother feel undervalued, leading her to question if her experiences and knowledge have any significance in her daughter’s eyes. 

This dynamic can create an emotional distance, with mothers feeling that their role as a guiding figure is diminished.

5. Not Including Her In Your Major Life-Decisions

Life is a journey filled with pivotal moments and decisions. Mothers, having been there every step of the way, naturally hope to be involved in their daughter’s significant choices. 

When a daughter makes monumental life decisions—be it career moves, relationships, or personal endeavors—without sharing or seeking her mother’s input, it can evoke feelings of exclusion. 

It sends a message that the bond they’ve nurtured isn’t integral enough to be part of these defining moments. 

This sense of detachment can lead to feelings of hurt and confusion, with mothers grappling with their evolving role in their daughter’s increasingly independent life.

6. Taking Her Actions For Granted

The love of a mother often manifests in countless acts of kindness, sacrifice, and support.

From the meals lovingly prepared to the sleepless nights spent worrying, mothers continuously give without expecting much in return. 

However, when a daughter takes these actions as a given, without acknowledgment or appreciation, it can be deeply hurtful. 

It’s not about seeking praise for every gesture but yearning for occasional recognition that these acts are seen and valued. 

Feeling perpetually overlooked can lead to a sense of invisibility, where a mother feels her efforts are merely expected, not cherished. 

Over time, this can dampen the joy and fulfillment derived from these selfless acts of love.

Related Article: Things Narcissistic Mothers Say

What Are The Effects On A Mother When Her Daughter Hurts Her?


The feeling of betrayal can be overwhelming for a mother. It’s a sharp, unexpected sting, especially when it comes from someone she has nurtured and loved unconditionally. 

This sense of betrayal can lead her to question her actions, decisions, and even her worth. She might find herself replaying past events, trying to pinpoint where things went astray. 

The trust that was once unshakable now seems fragile, making her tread cautiously around the relationship.


A deep, lingering sadness can envelop a mother when hurt by her daughter. It’s like a shadow that dims once-joyful memories, casting a pall over moments that were once filled with laughter and love. 

This melancholy isn’t just about the present conflict; it’s a mourning of the past and the potential future.The dreams and hopes she had for their relationship now seem distant, replaced by uncertainty.


Emotional distance can be more isolating than physical distance. Even if surrounded by other loved ones, the rift with her daughter can make a mother feel profoundly alone. 

It’s a unique kind of solitude, where she yearns for the bond they once shared. Conversations, gatherings, and family events might feel incomplete, with a palpable void that’s hard to fill.

Lowered Self-Esteem

When a mother feels consistently undervalued or dismissed by her daughter, it can take a toll on her self-esteem. 

The very role she prided herself on—being a guiding and nurturing figure—seems to be questioned. 

Over time, she might start doubting her worthiness, wondering if she’s done enough or if she’s been a good mother. 

These feelings can erode her confidence, making her second-guess her decisions and actions.

Anxiety and Depression

Continuous conflict or emotional distance can lead to heightened levels of anxiety and even depression. 

The uncertainty of the relationship’s future, combined with past hurts, can create a constant state of worry. 

Mothers might find themselves ruminating over past events, seeking answers, and fearing further estrangement. 

This emotional turmoil, if unchecked, can manifest as deeper mental health issues.


Often, mothers internalize the pain and blame themselves for the strained relationship. They might replay moments, wondering if different actions could have prevented the current rift. 

This self-blame can lead to overwhelming guilt, where they shoulder the responsibility for not just their actions but the entire relationship’s dynamics.

Related Article:Signs Of A Bad Mother-Daughter Relationship

Why Consult a Mental Health Expert When Overwhelmed as a Mother?

Seeking the help of a therapist when feeling hopeless about a situation, especially in the context of a strained mother-daughter relationship, is crucial for several reasons:

Objective Perspective: Therapists provide an unbiased viewpoint, helping individuals see the situation from a fresh perspective. They can identify patterns or behaviors that might be invisible to those deeply involved.

Safe Space: Therapy offers a confidential environment where one can express feelings without judgment. This safe space encourages open communication and emotional release.

Coping Strategies: Therapists equip individuals with tools and techniques to manage emotions, communicate effectively, and navigate challenges.

Prevent Mental Health Decline: Continuous feelings of hopelessness can lead to severe mental health issues, including depression or anxiety. Early intervention with a therapist can prevent these conditions from worsening.

Rebuilding Relationships: With guidance, individuals can learn to rebuild and strengthen relationships. Therapists can mediate conversations, ensuring both parties feel heard and understood.

Validation: Sometimes, just having someone validate your feelings and experiences can be healing. Therapists acknowledge and affirm emotions, helping individuals feel seen and valued.

Related Article: Rules For 18 Year Olds Living At Home

How To Improve a Mother-Daughter Relationship? 

Set Clear Boundaries

Every relationship thrives on mutual respect, and setting boundaries is a testament to that. For mothers and daughters, it’s about understanding each other’s limits. 

Whether it’s personal space, topics of discussion, or time commitments, clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings. 

They create a safe space where both can interact without fear of overstepping or causing unintentional hurt. It’s not about restrictions; it’s about fostering a respectful environment.

Communication Is Necessary

Open dialogue is the bridge to understanding. Regular, heartfelt conversations can unearth buried feelings and pave the way for healing. 

It’s about listening as much as speaking, ensuring both voices are heard. 

Whether it’s discussing daily events or deep-seated emotions, communication strengthens the bond. It’s the key to navigating the complexities of the mother-daughter dynamic.

Forgive The Past Mistakes & Never Taunt Each Other

Holding onto past grievances can weigh down any relationship. For mothers and daughters, forgiveness is the path to a fresh start. 

It’s about letting go of old hurts and looking forward to building a brighter future together. Equally important is avoiding taunts or reminders of past mistakes. 

Such actions can reopen old wounds, hindering the healing process. Embrace the present, cherish the moments, and build a relationship rooted in understanding and love.

Spend Time With Each Other

Time is the canvas on which memories are painted. For mothers and daughters, shared moments become cherished memories. 

Whether it’s a simple coffee chat, a shopping spree, or a weekend getaway, spending time together strengthens the bond. 

It’s not about grand gestures; sometimes, the most meaningful moments are the quiet ones. These shared experiences create a tapestry of love and understanding that lasts a lifetime.

Be Open To Understand Each Other’s Perspectives

Every individual views the world through a unique lens. For mothers and daughters, understanding these perspectives can bridge gaps. 

It’s about listening without judgment, seeking to understand rather than impose. Embracing each other’s viewpoints fosters empathy and deepens the connection.

It’s a journey of mutual respect and discovery, celebrating the differences while cherishing the similarities.

Support Each Other

Life is filled with ups and downs. In these roller-coaster moments, support from a loved one can make all the difference. 

For mothers and daughters, being each other’s pillar of strength is invaluable. Whether it’s celebrating successes or navigating challenges, standing by each other creates an unbreakable bond.

 It’s a silent promise, a commitment to uplift and encourage, no matter what the circumstances.

​​Visit A Relationship Counselor

Sometimes, the complexities of a mother-daughter relationship require an external perspective. Visiting a relationship counselor can be a transformative step. 

It’s not an admission of failure; it’s a commitment to healing. Counselors provide a neutral space where emotions can be unpacked and understood. 

They offer tools and strategies to navigate conflicts and enhance communication. With their guidance, mothers and daughters can rediscover their bond, addressing past hurts and building a foundation for a healthier future. 

It’s a journey of introspection, understanding, and renewed connection, all under the watchful eye of a trained professional.


The complexities of mother-daughter relationships can be challenging, but it’s never insurmountable. With understanding, open communication, and the guidance of experts when needed, bridges can be rebuilt. Cherish the bond, seek support, and always move forward with hope and love.

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